1: "Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth."

2: "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."

3: "Caution: Frequent stops for sarcasm ahead."

4: "If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you."

5: "Save the Earth. It's the only planet with chocolate."

6: "Time is the best teacher, unfortunately it kills all its students."

7: "Behind every great man, there's a woman rolling her eyes."

8: "My other ride is your mom."

9: "Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice."